Real Gods Require Blood

WELCOME, to the End of the World! When all our gods, and even God, fails, who is left but the Angels?

Come, find your guides in the courts of Paradise and the Inferno through Lucifer and Michael, your two favorite angels of the court. And watch them flip the table in a cosmic bet as old as time: can the universe be ruled without God?

THE ‘MODERN’ RELIGION: A TOUR WITH OUR FAVORITE GOD

The year is two thousand and twenty four and it is the eve of humanity’s destruction once again. Two souls as old as time begin their debate once more on what to do with us and we know who they are:

In one corner is Lucifer, the Primordial Archangel of Light, the Illuminated One, The First Judge of the Cosmos, He who Knows All, and the (former) Lord of the Inferno, now reinstated as Archangel Supreme and God’s left hand. 

But in the other corner you have Michael, the Primordial Archangel of the Dark, God’s Gift, The Divine Arbiter of Souls, The First Executioner of the Cosmos, He who Is All, the (former) Prince of Heaven now turned God Himself!

And God, you see, well, He’s kind of run out of patience, but He’s decided to give us mortals one more chance by pulling the most God move of all time: writing a story about Himself!

Come and join Michael on an epic quest for us to prove to Him why He should keep us around – or not! It’ll be hilarious, it’ll be violent, and there WILL be a lot of philosophy, but in the end, only He can decide: are we worth it?

THE PREMISE:

Half gods ask for worship with sweets and liquors. A real god demands your sacrifice with blood. Here’s a trip down memory lane (in chronological order) from how we humans got from gods to angels.

in the beginning, there was. . .? not quite God but who we’d end up calling God (Yahweh) from as far aback as 1700 BCE. Follow that up with a whir of other polytheistic pantheons from Mesopotamia (like Ba’al), Egypt, China, and more, and well, you get something like the beginning of [religious] human history. Artist
But okay, you say, how the Hell did we get from a group of happy clams worshipping whatever deity felt right to what is single-handedly the most astonishing feat of spiritual belief a la monotheism? The answer lies with who got to write their stories first and spread the word, which is how you once celebrated gods became ‘pagan.’ Artist
Now here comes the fun part. Angels (messengers) have existed in the ‘religious’ canon since we came up with the concept, but our “mainstream” idea of them began around 4th century BCE. The further away we get from ‘God, the closer we get to the seemingly next best thing. . . Artist: Camille C.
Over time, these winged deliverers of God’s news gained so much traction in the religious canon up until our modern day that they’ve now taken a life of their own. Just make sure you don’t blink too hard, though, or else you might miss them passing through. Famous ones include: The (Fallen) Angel Lucifer, Archangel Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Haniel, Jophiel, and Cassel. Artist
Now, the interesting thing about angels compared to gods is that we find them more ‘relatable’ because of their designed function to speak to us. Maybe in a time where we’ve learned we can “play God” for ourselves, we could stand to do a little listening. Artist
Well, whenever you’re feeling lost, just remember: you aren’t. You know who you are. You know what you’d like to be and what you enjoy doing. Cultivate the things and people you love to get back into it if you want a chance past the latest itineration of the apocalypse. Artist: World’s Slowest Drawer